So I have been thinking a lot lately and I decided to write about a particular thought that keeps bothering me. Loads of people come into our lives for different reasons, some for good, some for bad, some for a moment and others for a lifetime. One thing I have learnt with time is that some people come into our lives just to impose their opinions on us. They do so without trying to understand us first; our values, principles and beliefs.
To the few who really know me, I can be very direct when I’m giving advice. I only sugar coat my words when I know the person with whom I’m dealing with is fragile (see previous post). If my opinion is not sorted, I do not speak. I believe in boundaries and I do not like to cross people. Also, when I give advice, I listen very carefully in other to reason with people and understand them. Thereafter, agreeing on a middle ground where both parties can be happy and move on. It’s not a do-or-die situation you know, life goes on… Next!!!!
I love listening to other people’s experiences about love, life, business etc and I try to build my own insights of what I believe will work best for me. If something clearly hasn’t worked for a hand full of people around you, then the chances of it working for you might be slimmer. Why jump off a bridge just because it’s the fastest way down when you can clearly use a lift and take a selfie at the same time? Like duh!!!
What baffles me the most is that some people think they know you well enough to automatically take on the position of your therapist. I really don’t get it. Some of them actually think they are doing you a favour, really? Personal or professional, do not let people’s views about what is right influence your perception of what is, unless you are utterly convinced that it’s good for you.
Do not let people ‘impose’ on you!
I live by one rule; it’s my life and I get to choose what is best for me at my own time and pace. If I have to bend over backwards to please you, you sure as hell better be worth the yoga experience. If people believe that they have a right to give advice, they also should know that you have a right to either accept or decline it.
In case you end up in a bad situation due to you refusing to accept other people’s advice, it was probably never meant to be. But, there is also a chance that you were probably too emotional, stubborn, or just being a knobhead not to have noticed how significant the advice was. Then I would say you have missed out.
Choose people’s views wisely. Make sure you read between the lines to understand their motives. Not all advice should be taken at face value because it can either make or break you. All actions have consequences and dealing with a bad consequence from an imposed advice will cause resentment. Trust me; you don’t want to go through that.
Your life and business depend on your ability to interpret the millions of views, opinions and opportunities that present itself around you. Be a person of values, principles, goals and faith. Be assured that one day you will look back and smile knowing fully well that the road wasn’t smooth but you achieved your goal.
Good job on this. I wish people were more like yourself who seem to think outside of the box. Like the example you use for jumping off a bridge only because it’s the fastest way down. I like how you think…gives me a sense of hope that they’re way better people out there in this world. Thanks
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Thank you so much Ken.. I really appreciate it
Great perspective. You’re so right! Thanks for sharing.
Great writing. I absolutely agree!
Yes, I so agree with this. I only want to be surrounded by supportive and kind people. I don’t have time for anyone negative.
I fully agree with you ! When you give too much credence to other people’s opinions you’re basically telling your true self to fuck-off. So put on your blinders. Stop looking at what everyone else is doing. Keep your eyes on your own paper. Seriously, everyone’s journey is different. So no one’s life will look the same. When we drop the comparison and just hold ourselves accountable to meeting the goals we set up in front of us then we stop feeling like we’re running a race on a treadmill that won’t stop and let us catch our breath.
I totally agree with you! You are who you surrond yourself with, no negativity!
Generally I have stopped giving advice because it never seems to work out when I have given it. It’s not that it’s bad advice but once given the relationship with that other person sours. If they seek the advice it’s one thing. Then again I had a friend seek advice and it still went bad…. so yeah. I just don’t do it.
This is such a great post, I’ve had so many fair weather friends who only want to see you when they need something or when it’s convenient for them. I don’t generally give advice though to people unless they ask for it specifically just because I feel it can get you into more trouble even if you’re trying to help.
No one likes advice that has not been solicited. Sometimes though it’s useful. But other times, as you’ve stated, you have to make sure you understand facts and how taking someone else’s advice might impact your life. After all, you’re the one who has to live with the decision once you’ve made it.